‘She was not happy’: 21-year-old daughter refuses to inform controlling mother of an internship she landed abroad due to her mother's reaction to her last opportunity

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Mar 22, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Some parents make a point to create an environment that brings their children down instead of one that raises them up. Usually, these kinds of parents don't want to admit their child is capable, possibly out of fear or out of envy… Either way, it's an unfortunate situation and definitely not the kind of example you want to set for them. If children are constantly discouraged by their parents, they'll either never take the risk in their personal lives or careers, or they will stop staying in contact with you. Maybe even both.

The 21-year-old daughter who posted this next story explains that her mother constantly belittles her achievements and discourages her from making strides in her academic career. The daughter landed a fellowship and her mother went berserk, going so far as to listen in on her online interview. Now, the daughter landed another internship abroad, but she plans on keeping her mother in the dark about it. Why should she tell her mom, anyway? Her mother never gave her a nurturing environment to feel safe in. Scroll to read about how she has been giving her mother almost $12,000 over the span of two and a half years.

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  • As I mentioned previously, this type of parental discouragement is clearly from a place of envy, insecurity, or worry. Either the parent in question never received the opportunity to make something for themselves, they are insecure about their own lives, or they're worried their child will forget about them between the hustle and bustle of life. Those three possible reasons, however, hold little weight in justifying this entitled parenting. The daughter clearly has the ability to make a name for herself in her career and is being stunted not only by her mother but by her grandmother as well.

  • "My grandma then got involved siding with her and they both were calling me selfish and ungrateful.”
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for not telling my family i got an internship abroad until after I was accepted."

    I am a 21y/o university student and got accepted to a fellowship abroad this summer. I didn't tell my mother till after I got accepted and she was really angry I didn't tell her before applying.
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • I didn't want to tell her before because last summer I had an interview for a summer internship and she gave me a hard time. she
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • stood at the door for the online interview and then afterwards proceeded to tell me everything I did wrong and how I wouldn't get accepted. When I got annoyed
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • she said it was 'constructive criticism' but when asked what was constructed about it she said she didn't want to talk anymore. i am usually very receptive to feedback but this was just mean.
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • Cheezburger Image 10482574080
    via A. C. For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Anyways this time around I did not want her to get in my head so I didn't tell her. When I finally did she told me she was not happy about me going as she said i
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • need to come home and spend time with the family and take care of her. My grandma then got involved siding with her and they both were calling me selfish and
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • ungrateful. I tried to argue back saying this was a good opportunity for me that won't come around again. i said i was proud of myself for this
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • achievement even if they weren't and they called me ride. I said if i was selfish then why could i visit every weekend to see my family (2h travel time) and provide.
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • money to my mother when she needed it. i was really annoyed they kept calling me selfish so i calculated how much money i had given just over the last 2
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • years and a half which totaled to around 12,000. i send this number in a text and my mother was fuming. she said i was punishing her for her saying i
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • shouldn't do the fellowship and that i was holding it over her head because i gave her money. my grandmother said that it was nothing that i gave her money because my mother works hard
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • and everyone gives money to help their parents because of all the money paid to raise them. I said its different because i am still a student and make minimum wage on the side. side note- i
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • never asked or was paid back any money i gave to my mother. After this i have not spoken to my mother nor has she spoken to me for almost a month now. I went
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • home to which she blanked me when when I tried to greet her and ignored my attempts to talk to be mature and try and talk it out. i got another internship
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • abroad this summer right before the initial one so ill be gone for 3- 4 months (1st may-july, 2nd august) doing them back to back. I don't plan to tell her, AITA?
    via throwawayaccskrr
  • I_type_words NTA. Sounds like your mom has some narcissistic tendencies, and sounds like she learned them from her own mom. You might well have more encounters like this ahead of you, unfortunately.
    via I_type_words
  • Lovebeingadad54... NTA. Also, quit giving them money, finish schooling, run as far as fast as you can from your toxic family and don't look back
    via Lovebeingadad54321
  • Ok_Homework_7... NTA They want control. Stop giving them money, they will bl d you dry so you can't cut them off, it's a common tactic.
    via Ok_Homework_7621
  • And if they're like this, stop going there so often. You're old enough to have a life of your own. By going there and helping them out, you're rewarding unwanted behaviour. They have no reason to change because this is working for them.
    via Ok_Homework_7621

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family drama aita internship entitled parents AITAH reddit story family feud parenting entitled people karma abroad family reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail college parents entitled people
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